


Quest for the Gold

by DontEatTheLiveAnimals



Category: Taps to Riches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:39:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontEatTheLiveAnimals/pseuds/DontEatTheLiveAnimals
Summary: The Gold Explorers of the Earth and Space Planets go to the Jungle Planet to help build their Gold Empire!





	1. RioDeBonobo

The Gold Explorers were Coots McGold, a bearded prospector; Dwayne the Wonk Johnson, an incredibly strong candy factory owner; Cosmo Chrome, a child genius and robot designer; and King Grootankhamun, a resurrected tree pharaoh. Their heists of gold across the Earth and Space Planets were numerous, giving them the reputation of wanted criminals to some and interplanetary heroes to much more. Among the many feats the Gold Explorers did were the ransacking of the kingdoms of Goldunaga and Goldmec; the ship deck fight with the pirate Goldbeard; the robbery of Jillions from Stephen Goldbear during the hour Johnson was on his talk show; the thwarting of the Space Planet's attempted takeover by singer and athlete Cash Gordon; and their greatest heist, the theft of 100 CaZillion from the miserly Scrooge McBuck. With police on their tail every second, the foursome jumped through the portal to the Jungle Planet, where they aimed for more gold.

Goldezuma did not technically rule RioDeBonobo, but his empire surrounded the independent city and his headquarters were underground. In fact, his home was so secretive that the Gold Explorers had to ask for directions from the locals. They first stopped at Nanas Prime Eats, a fruit place owned by Ceraldo Miguel, a samba dancer who was one of the few humans to reside in the ape-dominated Jungle Planet. While eating there they met another human, primatologist and explorer Anna Belle. She gave them maps of six areas in the planet where the gang knew they could find gold: RioDeBonobo, Bananarock, Apelantis, Bananalot, Gorillondon, and Chimpopolis. Though Belle wanted to protect Goldezuma's privacy by not giving the exact location of his home, she hinted that it was under the gigantic Hungry Hoard, from which bananas are delivered all over the planet.

It turns out that Belle had been inaccurate: underneath the Hungry Hoard was Hugh Mann, a prisoner of Goldezuma's. Mann said that to get to Goldezuma's hideout, one had to go through a maze beneath the Primate Primary, Rio DeBonobo's biggest elementary school. There the Gold Explorers ran into principal Big Morando, who wore a tent-like hat and who always had a small monkey by his side. He told them to go into the closet of the classroom of big-breasted, big-lipped teacher Mrs. Bananabottom, where they would find a hidden staircase that led to the headquarters. While they did those steps without any trouble, they did not know that there would be three nuisances to get rid of underground.

The first was the Cheshire Cheetah, whose flashing teeth guided the explorers through the dark maze. Upon catching the cheetah, he challenged the gang to an eating contest, where a member would have to eat more corn cheese snacks than him; Johnson beat Cheetah easily. The second was Jeeves Crocwin, a crocodile who was very hard to restrain. McGold ended up doing so with his pickaxe while Johnson used candy as bait. The third and last was Genghis Kaa, the true ruler of the underworld who rented space to Goldezuma. Though Kaa was a fierce commander of his fellow snakes, who quickly hypnotized McGold and Johnson, Chrome was able to trick Kaa into falling into a pit, which as a snake he could not jump over. After defeating Kaa, the foursome stole a hefty amount from Goldezuma's hideout but chose to spare the emperor, gaining his respect in the process.


	2. Bananarock

The Gold Explorers' next stop was Bananarock, a prehistoric-styled city led by the monkey Fred Builderberg and his much more dangerous sidekick, the tyrannosaurus Barney Clubbal. They took a rest from their experience at RioDeBonobo by eating at Bear Grills's ham restaurant/club Copa Banana and bowling against the resident champions, the boastful Rhesus and the slacker sloth Mate. They also got their own car, with tires custom-made by high school schemer Greasus E. Clunko. But to get to Builderberg and Clubbal they had to place first in a dance contest judged by an evil fashion designer who took the name Will Barrell but whose real name was rumored to be unpronounceable. They won simply by finding the sea monster Mr. McNess, who was thought by all residents of Bananarock to be an urban legend, and dancing with him, stunning Barrell.

Much like with Goldezuma, the gang was advised to beat a number of other bosses in order to get to Builderberg's and Clubbal's houses. However, they refused to fight Toothy the Tiger and Wool E. Mammouth since most of their species had gone extinct. Toothy and Mammouth instead taught them how to surpass Rurock and Bam Beaver, the guardians of Builderberg's and Clubbal's homes respectively. To get through Rurock, a big rock formation carved in the shape of a human head, one had to know a simple password. Beaver, Clubbal's adopted son, was much harder to get through since he wielded a deadly club. Chrome, easily the smartest person in the group, guessed Rurock's password a few times before finding the correct answer, "Viking". McGold, Johnson, and Grootankhamun took on Bam Beaver together, and it took hours before they were able to hold back his super strength.

Builderberg and Clubbal both told the group that they actually did not have any gold at the moment and that their supply was stolen by another explorer, Goldiana Stones. They said that the gang could at least have a portion of the gold if they tracked down Stones and helped arrest him. Thankfully for the Gold Explorers, a pair of effeminate singers, the monkey Georgie Boy and the dove Archduke Prinz Birdinand, knew Stones's location since he was hiding in the trees of the nearby rainforest where they lived. Through his expert climbing skills, Grootankhamun was able to go all the way up to where Stones was hiding with his sack of gold and bring him down. Builderberg and Clubbal gave Grootankhamun the prize for bringing Stones in, though he shared the money with his fellow explorers.


	3. Apelantis

Unlike previous gold-owner targets, Emperor Xerius Warton IV had an entire army at his disposal to prevent invasion. Warton was also an elephant, one of the strongest animals anywhere, which made him very hard to beat as well. So the first thing the Gold Explorers did was to go to Pompeius Magmus's Inferno Forge in Apelantis to get hammers. Magmus, who had himself been defeated by Warton, created the shop so others would not do the same mistakes he did.

They then enlisted citizens of Apelantis for a ragtag militia. The Alabanana University football team joined, and their coach Nick Sabanana became one of the militia's leaders despite his experience in football leading to unorthodox military formations. Senator Satyr, a member of Apelantis's council who counted votes, also became one of the leaders. Army Dillo, a RioDeBonobo transplant, was the militia's most valuable asset since he could roll up into a ball.

The militia were massively surprised when Warton began to attack Apelantis itself. Though Warton's army vastly outnumbered the Apelantis militia, due to the extreme narrowness of the battlefield the militia's strength, mostly due to the football players, overcame the army. It was then revealed that much of Warton's army had been taken out by Monkedusa, who turned beings to stone, and the gigantic one-eyed Monklops.

History buffs Bill S. Creston Esquire and Ted Theodosius Loganium, who claimed to be time travelers from the far future but actually just came from Bananarock, were the only ones who knew how to defeat Monkedusa and Monklops. Monkedusa had to be beheaded, while Monklops had to be blinded. Though Monklops was easy to take out with McGold's pickaxe, Monkedusa was much harder to defeat and eventually had her neck broken through Army Dillo's spiked club. Once the two monsters were defeated, Creston and Loganium took the militia for an extravagant meal at Lil' Cheeser's pizza restaurant and Consul Owenus Wilsimus gave the gang more gold than Warton would have ever given them as a prize.


	4. Bananalot

King Louie MXIV, the king of Bananalot, was in the middle of a skirmish with neighboring rulers Lord Macaquaad of the Far Away Kingdom and Princess Donkunzel of the Gothel Kingdom over land. Grootankhamun, being an old king himself, knew that war would break out at any moment, so he chose Bananalot to be the next place to steal riches since he knew Louie would not be in his castle frequently. They gained an ally along the way, a walrus named Friar Tusk whose previous boss was also known for robbing gold.

The Gold Explorers first became followers of Juan DeLion, another explorer who came to Bananalot to find the fountain of youth. Since DeLion's army only had physical training and Louie's army had great magical skills, the gang and Tusk urged DeLion's army to get magical training with them. They were taught by two of the greatest magical teachers in Bananalot: the mischief-making wizard Gandalch and the outright sociopathic witch Wench Wentura.

After taking care of a group of ursine bandits led by Yogi Barbearian, the group conquered an uprising by William Whaleace, who wanted his whale-populated area Cetland to become independent from Bananalot. By defeating Whaleace, the Explorers single-handedly prevented a civil war that would have occurred in the kingdom, with Louie congratulating them with gold. But unlike Wilsimus's gift in Apelantis, Louie did not give nearly enough money for the gang's liking, so they attacked his castle while Louie was absent for a meeting with Donkunzel. The first gate guard, whose defeat was a complete joke, was Gorillacorn, a pink gorilla who pretended to be a unicorn simply by having a banana on his head. But the second gate guard was a nightmare. Drakegon, a hooded dragon, challenged the gang to rap battles, easily defeating all the Gold Explorers plus Tusk and DeLion due to his great wordplay. After those were finished, Drakegon immediately started breathing fire at the group, forcing them to escape the castle and Bananalot itself for nearby Gorillondon.


	5. Gorillondon

After defeating the evil Red Skukari in the second Jungle War, Gorillondon was in a time of prosperity. Queen Elizatifah, Gorillondon's figurehead (there was no ruler), might have been the most famous person on the Jungle Planet. Jack Pupper and Sweeney Toad were finally arrested for their mass murders. But it was still as dirty as ever, so not many rich people wanted to live there.

One of the exceptions was Andrew P. Goldfeller, a hippo from Chimpopolis who settled in Gorillondon for tax reasons. Since he might have been the wealthiest being on the Jungle Planet, the Gold Explorers, now back to the original four, wanted to steal at least some of his riches. The problem was that no one knew where Goldfeller lived.

So the gang enlisted Sherlock Marmadolmes, the planet's greatest detective not only for his amazing intuition but also for his acute smell and hearing. After questioning Canfred von Loopthofen, a toucan pilot who shockingly survived the first Jungle War and eventually worked as Goldfeller's postmaster, it was clear that he resided in the Monkey Wrench Works, a steampunk factory and store headed by Muriel W. Rinches. On the way to the MWW (as it was often called), the group, now with Marmadolmes, enlisted another ally. The new recruit was the Phantess of the Opera, who was also experienced with money theft since she extorted so much from the world-class theater Majestic Melodrama.

Since it was nighttime, the gang inevitably came into conflict with Damon Clockie, a film fanatic who was known for beating up people with his friends after dark. Clockie and his friends kicked and punched the group so hard that they ended up in the hospital. Luckily, they were immediately nursed back to health by a magical man named Gary Boppins. Boppins gave the gang some of his own flying umbrellas so they could fly to the top of the MWW and break in through the roof. McGold's pickaxe and the hammers they got from Magmus broke the roof, which was oddly made of wood while all the walls were made of metal. But after falling inside they were surrounded by Monkeybots, who were similar to the Bizbots of Earth and the Astrobots of the Space Planet and were created by Chimpy Chimperson, a monkey who had disguised himself as a Zeta alien, then put another monkey disguise over it. The Monkeybots were easy to fight, though their sheer number made them a nuisance, but B.4.N.4.N.4., a Bananabot, was impossible to defeat physically and had to be deprogrammed by Chrome. Chrome also turned off Max Bananaroom, the computer-native AI who gave orders to employees and had gone haywire.

The last match was with Professor Bad, who doubled as a teacher and as the MWW's research assistant, but due to the influence of drugs programmed the Monkeybots, Bananabots, and Bananaroom badly. It seemed to last forever until Johnson called Boppins to heal Bad. Boppins flew down, picked up Bad, and carried him to the same hospital the gang was at. Goldfeller, who had secretly bought MWW, gave some of his fortune to the gang as a reward for getting help for Bad, and they agreed with each other not to steal any more due to what happened at Louie's castle.


	6. Chimpopolis

Chimpopolis was the biggest city on the Jungle Planet. It was home of BANANASDAQ, the planet's stock exchange managed by the infamous Jordan Chimpfort; Chimp & Dales, the hottest nightclub on the planet, known for the shirtless performances by Magic Monk; and Fanciful Bananciful, which had unique and acclaimed meals cooked by Banana Split. Its wrestling facility housed the annual rematch between monkey Chett "The Clang Man" Hart and chip-headed Nacho Man Randy Savage. It was the residence of Harambeethoven, a piano virtuoso who was the highest-paid musician on the planet, and Optimus Primate, the robot hero of the Jungle Wars.

And most infamously, it was the home of Dr. Rufiki's Monkeyhattan Project, which bombed other planets if they were being hostile. For this reason, Chimpopolis was the place on the Jungle Planet most susceptible to nuclear leaks, and most residents feared that the city could be wiped out at any moment.

The Gold Explorers, back to the original four again, shared this fear. Chimpopolis was marked on Anna Belle's map because it was the location of Brotassium, the god of electrolytes, who had gold stored in his angular home. But they did not want to go there to fight Brotassium. They had to be pushed to do so by Vladimir Poohtin, a bear from another planet who had just negotiated a nuclear arms treaty with the Jungle Planet and was sure that there would be no more bomb production.

Unlike all the other gold-holders, Brotassium had no bodyguards, being incredibly strong himself. The gang asked the scheming criminal Weasley Snipes, who had just escaped from prison, to look over Brotassium's house and text them whenever he wasn't home. The moment Brotassium left, Snipes called the group and they raided the house for gold.

Unfortunately for the foursome, this was the first time they got caught with the gold. Constable Woodrow, a woodpecker who had watched the heist from above, swooped in to catch them. But three famous musicians, the carnal singer Pandonna, the stop-motion rapper Gumbilla Ice, and the AI rapper DLC, contacted Woodrow to release the four explorers since they had become heroes in Apelantis, where the musicians were touring. Woodrow released them, but their journey was not quite over.

Floppy Dolphonic, a robotic dolphin that could work on land as well as water, had followed the Gold Explorers from the MWW as revenge for destroying all the Monkeybots. Since it could not be deprogrammed nearby, the gang had to run away. They made Clunko's car go much faster with the help of code stored in DLC and a little extra money which she required for every transaction. With the new speed, the gang blazed across the planet. Dolphonic found them in Bananalot, but then was caught in a fierce battle with Drakegon which ended when Drakegon completely ate Delphonic. Drakegon, having recognized the foursome, attempted to eat them as well, but Louie told him to stop since they had saved the kingdom from Whaleace. With Drakegon willing to help the gang get back, they flew on him before returning through the portal to the Space Planet, where the Zeta aliens celebrated their return with a huge parade.


End file.
